"My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplaces of existence." ― Sir Arthur Conan Doylen, Sherlock Holmes
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April 4, 2018

A Dinner Conversation

Artwork by by Carrie Mae Smith
Fiction: A Dinner Conversation

B: Why do you always do that?

Z: Do what?

B: You're holding the fork all wrong. It should be held at the top not the middle.

Z: Well, excuse me. I have been holding the fork this way for years. I didn't hear you complaining before. What's changed?

B: I don't know. But certainly, your face have changed. A lot, if I may say.

Z: You may say it but it doesn't mean I have to listen.

B: How dare you say things like that to me?

Z: Why wouldn't I dare? You said it first with the fork. I didn't mention all the bills you rack up buying those useless coats.

B: They're not useless.

Z: We're in Florida. When was the last time you needed a coat?

B: Well... just yesterday. It was very cold. I wore my black coat and I was quite warm.

Z: Sure you weren't melting like ice under a hot lamp?

B: Oh, you are so....infuriating. I should have listened to my mother and marry Hank instead.

Z: Why don't you marry him now? I'll give you a divorce in a heartbeat. I'm sure Hank will marry you as soon his parole officer says it's alright.

B: Well, at least Hank wouldn't have given me lip for buying those coats.

Z: I'm sure he wouldn't seeing how he couldn't afford them.

B: Oh!

Z: What? Don't look at me like that!

B: I have not noticed it before but you are a very angry man. You hate everything and everyone. I only married you because I didn't want to live with my mother. Now that my mother is gone, I can return home if I want to.

Z: Is that so? Can you pass the salt?

B: Always with the salt. Is my cooking that bad?

Z: You have to ask? Can't you see my face all weathered from your cooking? Remember the tofu chicken a few Christmases ago? Not to mention how you almost smothered my Uncle Abe.

B: That chicken was for your Aunt Barbara who is a vegetarian. Uncle Abe was on fire. I had to put him out! It wasn't my fault he refused to smoke outside the house. Why do you blame everything on me?

Z: Why do you insist that I do?

B: Well, you can say anything now. No one remembers anything but you.

Z: Certainly, Uncle Abe remembers.

B: That old bat. You're just like him, you know.

Z: If that's true, I would have left you after that chicken business.

B: Is that how you really feel?

Z: Isn't it obvious?

B: I can't tolerate this anymore!

Z: Well, who says you have to? There's the door.

B storms out the front door and Z is left to enjoy his dinner quietly. That is the last time the walls heard such a conversation. A month later, a new family arrives with new noises and new fights. The walls sigh with relief. They love listening to the humans fight.

a to z challenge 2018
Check out the April A-Z Challenge blog here >


  1. Like the walls, I am quite entertained!

    1. I wrote this for fun so I'm glad you're entertained.

      thanks for visiting, have a lovely day.

  2. That's a bit of entertaining, albeit unhealthy dialogue. Nicely done.

    D is for Dependant

    1. unhealthy? maybe but being honest is necessarily sometimes.

      thanks for visiting, have a lovely day.

  3. This dialogue should be taught in marriage counselling as how not to talk to your spouse! Cleverly written and sadly realistic!

    1. truth can't be painful but some things must be said.

      thanks for visiting, have a lovely day.

  4. Tofu chicken 😂
    Oh man, and it started with a stupid fork... For other people this might be the toothpaste or the toilet seat lid.


    1. yep, you're right. it's always the little things.

      thanks for visiting, have a lovely day.

  5. This is so typical of what some arguments must be like. I've listened to arguments that started over things just as small as a fork, I think the worst I heard was when the girl commented how cute a certain celebrity was and the boy took real offense at that.
    Pamela @ Days of Fun

    1. perhaps too typical.

      thanks for visiting, have a lovely day.

  6. Replies
    1. nope, not well at all.

      thanks for visiting, have a lovely day.

  7. The best arguments to write start with something small and build from there. Well done.

    The next time I get into an argument, I'm going to blame it on the walls.

    1. I didn't even think much, I just write whatever comes

      thanks for visiting, have a lovely day.


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