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February 13, 2018

Judge romance books by their covers

This week's Top Ten Tuesday is 'Love Freebie'. I decide to write imagined conversations & thoughts using romance covers. I didn't read these books or their synopsis which I think it's more fun this way. (Click on the covers for a larger view)


01/ Race against the Duke by Charlotte Darcy

She: Why are we dancing outside. Does he have a fetish for horses?

He: Why did I let Mother talk me into holding a ball outside? I hope it does not rain. Duke the Second really cannot withstand rain. It rust his shoes. I hope the stable boy has not fed Duke the Second sweet potatoes again.

She: Something smells funny. Keep smiling. Just keep smiling.

He: Never again shall I hold a ball outside. I do not care if Mother threatens to kill herself.

She: I hope he is not like his horses. I certainly do not know how to get the smell out of the carpet. At least, his estate is large.


02/ The Wayward Heir by Kelly Anne Bruce

He: I hope she thinks I am marrying her for her mind.

She: I hope he have a great body because I cannot stand the way his left eyebrow twitches every time I mention 'children.'

He: I wish we are alive because being half translucent ghosts really dampens the bedroom.

She: Oh, I wish I can be alive again. I would marry an earl instead of this half duke. At least, our ghost child will have a nice place to live in.



03/ A viscount's second chance by Joyce Alec / The devil may care by Emma V. Leech / A lady like no other by Claudia Stone / The archaeologist's daughter by Summer Hanford (FYI: all these are separate books using almost the same image)

He: I hope she does not notice I have a fetish for woman who have pale ghostly complexions.

She: I hope he does not have a limp. Oh my, does he always stand so awkwardly?

He: I hope she does not think I chose this puffy bow tie myself. I would rather die a thousand deaths but at last, Mother overruled me again.

She: Why does he wear that ridiculously large bow tie? Does he think it make him attractive? I hope he's not into men. Never again, not after the incident with George The Third. Why are his ears so red? Oh well, at least, he is rich and not ugly to look at.


04/ His Future Bride Mercy by Indiana Wake & Belle Fiffer / The Gift of Christmas Love by Callie Gardner (FYI: same photo, two different books)

She: Is he looking at my breast? Who did I just agreed to marry?

He: I hope she doesn't notice I'm a bit cross-eyed.

He: Oh no, I hope she doesn't find out I have another bride who looks just like her in the snowy hills.

She 2: Gosh, does he always have to wear that dumb cowboy hat? Why does he keep looking at my chest?

He: I hope they both won't found out I brought them the same dress.


05/ To Chase the Storm by Kimberly Cates

She: Why is it so warm tonight? Oh yes, I forgot, there's a ship burning behind us. I just wish he would stop burning ships just because I told him it makes me hot.

He: I hope she appreciates that is my father's last ship.

She: Ugh, the ships smells bad. Why does he thinks this is romantic?

He: Why does she never let me wear a shirt? We are outside after all. And this leather pants is making me sweat in all the wrong places.



06/ Winning the Merchant Earl by Arietta Richmond

He: "Darling, you have dark smudges on your gloves. Have you been cleaning the fireplace again? I told you, mother will not kick you out now that we are married."

She: "No, my dear, I have not been cleaning the fireplace but I have been polishing your boots. They are ghastly."

He: "Darling, you are not a maid anymore. You are my wife. But as long you are at it, remember to polish them properly. I really need them to shine. I have an engagement with the duke tomorrow. I hope he will purchased my collection of buttons. You know how much I have worked to keep them from rusting."

She: "Of course, my dear. Anything for you."


07/ The Hens, The Third Day (The 12 Days of Christmas Mail-Order Brides Book 3) by Merry Farmer

He: "Which one of you is my mail order bride?"

She: "I am."

She 2: "No, I am your bride."

He: "You? It doesn't matter. I hope one of you can turn me back to a man because I don't want to be a hen. Wait! Isn't hen a female? Oh no, will I be a lady when I turn back?"



08/ An affair in winter by Jess Michaels

She: I hope he can read. I can't be with a man who can't read.

He: Why does she look so happy when I'm about to fall and break my bones because she likes to see me in awkward positions?

She: I hope he doesn't notice I smell like an 80-year-old book.

He: What is that strange smell? Is it her?





09/ Lord of the Privateers by Stephanie Laurens

He: God, I am so bored. Does she not know how much I hate ships? Just because I am the Lord of the Privateers does not mean I like spending my time on a ship.

She: Where are all the gorgeous pirates? Sissy told they usually appear along this harbor.

He: I'm dying to know if Lord Stephen will wed Lady Gowin when he finds out she's really a cleaning lady.

She: Oh look, another ship. I hope there's a pirate there to take me away from this grumpy man. And perhaps rob him of his gold and his ship. I didn't spend all this time with this boring man for nothing.

He: I hope the maid doesn't find my secret library of romance novels and my chocolate stash.


10/ Snatching the Bride by Ehiee Atkinson

He: "You should know my hair is very important to me. I will never cut it. But you may cut yours."

She: "I will do anything you ask. After all, I did agreed to live in a house surrounded only by the mountains and a strange gapping black hole after you snatched me from the only home I know."

He: "But, my darling, promise me you will not wear that hideous green shirt again. It makes me ill at ease."

She: "I know. My father picked it out. He has horrible taste in clothes. But at least he agreed to let me marry you. I hope you are very well endowed."

He winks at her: "I am."

She attempts to not roll her eyes: "What I meant, is, I hope you are rich because I'm not marrying a poor mountain man."


What do you think when you see these covers? 
For more Top Ten Tuesday, visit That Artsy Reader Girl. 
 

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17 comments:

  1. I used to love reading romance novels but grew out of it somehow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never got into reading romance books, I just pick books for their stories and if they have romance, great, if not, that's okay too.

      thanks for your visit, have a lovely day.

      Delete
  2. I haven't read many romance novels, because I just don't know where to start! I think that romance/erotica can be hard to get into at times because the relationship is the base of the book and if it doesn't hit your buttons the whole thing falls flat, and being such a personal thing... how do you know which book to try? So here I am, heh, lurking in blogs trying to see if something jumps at me :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. this post is not about book recommendations, as I didn't read any of these titles, I pick them for the purpose of making fun of their covers.

      I think you should not look for romance books, rather look for books that tells stories that you like to read about - that's how I pick books to read.

      thanks for your visit, have a lovely day.

      Delete
    2. Oh, yeah, the post is H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S! It just also drives home the point that with these books the covers tell you Nothing about the quality of the story (happens in other genres, too): maybe it'll be interesting, maybe it's so bad it's funny, or maybe it's so bad you can't deal with it. Or maybe I'm projecting my issues with UF books onto this, heh!!!

      Delete
  3. I love this post Lissa, and it's really made me laugh out loud. I read lots of romance novels, and the covers can be a bit ridiculous, but they are often what hooks me. My favourite of yours is #8, as I think that would be me, smelling of old books.
    Have a really lovely week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh yes, romance covers can be a bit ridiculous judging by what I have see when I searched for covers. but at least, you know what you're getting.

      thanks for your visit, have a lovely day.

      Delete
  4. Haha, this is awesome. Some of those covers are silly.

    Aj @ Read All The Things!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. these are pretty much asking us to make fun of them, maybe not all of them, but that's pretty much why I choose them.

      thanks for your visit, have a lovely day.

      Delete
  5. Ha these are fun. The cross-eyed one cracked me up. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that one has been changed at the last minute to the cross-eyed bit, which I thought it's much funnier than what I have before.

      thanks for your visit, have a lovely day.

      Delete
  6. Not only did I enjoy this super funny post, which is a brilliant idea, but I learned about the International Book Giving Day! Hugs...RO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I only found out about the international book giving day from another blogger so blogs are very informative to me.

      thanks for your visit, have a lovely day.

      Delete
  7. Such a clever idea to think of when looking at book covers! I totally judge books by their covers. *nods*
    -Amaris

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do occasionally judge books by its cover but only because the cover tells so much.

      thanks for your visit, have a lovely day.

      Delete
  8. So hilarious!! I love your wry sense of humour.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love writing these kind of things, I think it's fun to make fun of books, as long no one complains.

      thanks for stopping by, have a lovely day.

      Delete

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